Scary or Kid Friendly Scary

Halloween approaches - my kids have several spooky parties lined up with their spooky little friends and most of them involve me tagging along with them - cos basically I am still a 'cool Dad'.  This is not because I am particularly up there in the hip stakes (though I like to think I can hold my own against the other Dad's at the the school gates - and quite often with the Mum's too!) it is that they are still young enough for me to be... well not a disappointment.  The secret to this is getting down with them and playing on their level... I don't find this hard as it is pretty much my level anyway.....  I digress before I even start! 

The biggest problem I face is when I come along to the parties how spooky should I dress up?  I made the mistake last year of misjudging this slightly.  I thought - I know Zombie! Everyone loves a Zombie!  Personally I didn't think it was the scariest Zombie I have ever created... unfortunately four of the kids at the party did and started screaming... then crying.....and crying....and crying. 

Here it is - exhibit 1.

What you can't see is that my t-shirt had slash marks across it and blood oozing out and my arms had a few veins painted in with a bit more blood oozing from those too.....

However not too scary I thought.  So this year the kids will all be a year older - can I go a bit more horrific? Was thinking vampire - all the trappings of looking glam with a couple of sharp teeth - maybe a Mummy - that way nobody will know it is me?  Or perhaps werewolf - I could so do a werewolf - but one maybe mid-change......  Will post the final decision on Nov 1st.

The Guy Ritchie Game

The Bro'n'lo (aka brother-in-law) has a new game.  It is called the Guy Ritchie Game - basically the premise is simple - stand with your feet shoulder width apart - tilt your head to one side and your shoulders the opposite way and introduce East End Villains using normal common or garden things.

For Example.... Spoons.
This would then become..... 'Jimmy Two Spoons'
Then in your best East End Gangster voice tell us why he is called that name.....
'Cos once he he took two spoons and scooped someones eyes out - stuck 'em on cocktail umberellas and served 'em up in a Mai Tai'

The winner is a combination of the best story, accent and comedy menacing leer.  A couple of bowls of the  old 'hooligan soup' and this is guaranteed hilarious fun.

me

Curious Art Sumptuous Design and Pinching

This morning, very early this morning, I dragged my sorry weekend addled self to the V&A for a lovely breakfast viewing of the Maharaja: The Splendour of India's Royal Courts courtesy of those kind people at Arts & Business. After the triple orally administered caffeine worked its wonder on my synapses off I toddled to view said exhibit.

Ooh , ooh - forgot to say that I have never ever been to the V&A before - even though I was schooled not 200 yards from its front door - for some bizarre reason a person whose entire adult life has been spent absorbing the beauty of art and design - I had never been particularly bothered by the idea..... crap I know. I have now been and will be returning to enjoy the rest of the gaff later... but for now back to the Maharajas....

On my check list of learning new things I have added these:
Maharaja = Great King
British Imperial Regime = Great Kings demoted to Princes
The bling they used to wear is astonishing!
The new 'Princes' of India were required to be educated by English tutors

Anyway into the realms - incredible use of precious metal, stones, fabrics - everything dripped with luxury - which I guess is kinda fair enough given the Great King status.... Three things, however, have made an impact on me.

The first is what an appalling country/empire we were - not a real surprise to me we all know how rubbish the UK has been in culture domination over the centuries - but it was just a bit in your face at the end of this exhibit -in a good sobering way not in 'oh I don't want to know about this lets ignore it' kinda way.

Second is - did India only have one artists magically working throughout the entire two centuries that this exhibition covered. The drawings of people were all the same - and I am not talking from a perspective of they all looked similar - I really mean that the outlines the skewed perspective, the beards , taches and eyes all looked exactly the same in every single illustration - very very curious.... could someone tell me why, please?

Thirdly and lastly, the naughty schoolboy in me thought as I ventured in 'wonder if there will be any, you know, rudey dudey Karma Sutra illustrations in there. And there were - three to be precise, tucked discretely in the second room. A sliding scale of Rudey Dudey. First - two people under a rug.... second a classic image (no need to go into detail) - and third a very faint pencil drawing of a guy 'showing his skill by keeping three ladies happy at the same time'. At this point my female colleague wisely chirped up 'that's not really going to please a woman - all he is doing is pinching them'...... this has become my fourth lesson learnt for the check list:

No pinching

My wife will be very pleased about this one I am sure.